I've been studying abroad for close to 3 years (since I was 17) & still suffer from bouts of homesickness. You would think that I would be used to it by now, but instead, the opposite is true. In actual fact, the longer I've been abroad, the more homesick I seem to get.... LIKE NOW.
I probably shouldn't be complaining right now as unlike many people, I go back every holiday. & yes, I just got back from Singapore 3 days ago........ but I really can't help wishing I was back home again & not in this foreign country.
With the upcoming exams, my homesickness is even more heightened.
Only thing pulling me through is the fact that this is only temporary & I'll be going back in 1 month for my 3 months long summer break!!
Sometimes I really wish I had never left Singapore's shores....
At 17, I was pretty headstrong. I knew what I wanted & what I wanted was to study abroad. Even though my parents were reluctant at first, they eventually bought into the idea as well, especially since I had a pretty good case for studying abroad (being able to enter uni a year earlier than ppl my age). I guess to me at the time, studying abroad was a fantasy of sorts? Like many people, I wanted change - wanted to get out of the Singapore I had lived in for my whole life & venture out of my comfort zone. The grass definitely appeared greener on the other side.
For the first few months of living abroad, it all seemed like I was embarking on an exciting adventure.... that is until, pangs of homesickness started to hit me after a few months of being away from home. Slowly, the fantasy of living outside of SG started to dissipate & I realized how naive I was to think dismiss the fact that I wouldn't suffer from being homesick. I learnt that a foreign country would never be able to replace home.
When I'm alone in my apartment, especially at night, I sometimes find myself tearing up at random at the feeling of being alone, a thousand miles away from home & just feeling really tiny without the security that only home can provide for you.
Wouldn't say I necessarily regret studying abroad per se, because what would be the point in that? Regrets are a waste of time.. & I probably would've regretted not coming abroad if I hadn't.
Anyhow, homesickness aside, studying abroad has brought its fair share of advantages. Although it may not seem like it since I like to complain (typical Singaporean la), I'm thankful & feel blessed to have a spot in a respected university & course. Naturally, I've also grown to be more independent. I've also honed my arguing skills, not because of the training from law school, but because the service in the UK can be quite crap sometimes.... (LOL) & of course, not forgetting the people I've met since coming to the UK!
I'm also aware that there are many people out there who would love a chance to study abroad but are unable to for various reasons. So I definitely know how fortunate I am in spite of all my mixed emotions about being abroad..
However, with all that being said, I would probably not have made the same decision to study abroad if I had the same foresight as I do now.
To people who are thinking of studying abroad, do not overestimate your courage, for it takes a whole lot of courage to be away from home for prolonged periods. You may not think you'll get homesick (like what I thought), but you'll soon realize that
nowhere can replace the feeling of being home.
Of course this is not to say that everybody will experience the same level of homesickness as me. I've seen people who absolutely thrive from studying abroad & have had a completely positive experience.
I guess it really depends on the individual as well. I'm more of a homebody so that's why I probably get more homesick than the average person.
To all my fellow homesick people out there studying abroad, hang in there because summer break is going to be here real soon! This wave of homesickness is only temporary!
1 MORE MONTH.
& on a lighter note....
LOLOL
xx
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